Share If You Agree, Ignore If You Agree

Hello my name is Meghan, I’m a recovering Facebook addict.

(Hello, Meghan! you say).

But I wasn’t always this way! My journey is as long as… as a rant about the DNC posted by someone you haven’t spoken to since college. Let me start at the beginning.

Back when Facebook required an “.edu” address to sign up, I was all over that business. “Meghan is – ” this! “Meghan is – ” that!

Back when it was basically Twitter with a two-word prompt.

Tell us how you are! One of the greatest nights of my life started because I typed “Meghan is sick, send soup” and one of my friends actually showed up on my doorstep, with soup. He played cards with my family while I sniffled and laughed along.

It really was a social network! When I lost my keys in Watters Lobby, they were returned to me by a Facebook friend. Those heady, early days seem so long ago!

As Facebook branched out into games, I boasted a Farmville farm of epic proportions. I’m not ashamed to admit I spent hours clicking from one square of strawberries to the next, setting alarms to harvest my tomatoes. Yeah, I was totally hooked. 

Facebook first thing in the morning, Facebook into the wee hours of the night.

Over the years I started to feel more and more alienated from Facebook; ironic, because I thought the point was to feel more connected. Throughout my twenties, I accumulated friend upon friend and smoked a lot of weed (explaining every profile picture from 2010-2011); at a certain point I looked at my feed and realized I have no idea who these people are. I don’t recognize these names.

And how in the hell did I become friends with so many babies???

Here’s a baby sitting in a pumpkin, sharing graphic photos of animal abuse and screaming at me to share if I agree that animal abuse is WRONG.

Here’s a toddler posting a rant about Donna Brazile and oh my word he can’t be more than three years old, where did he get all these conspiracy theories?

Here’s a meme about Minions being shared by HOLY SHIT…it’s an ultrasound photo! This child hasn’t even been birthed yet and it’s already got an Internet presence! JESUS Christ!

But without a doubt the peak of the Facebook insanity was November 9, 2016. I spent days thereafter – as many people did – hooked to an IV of pure FB. Grief, anger, and #hashtags.

And then an angel-friend lifted the curtain and showed me the way: “Delete Facebook from your phone,” she urged over homemade mojitos.

My god, COULD I? Wouldn’t I be missing out? I deleted the Facebook app from my phone the next day, along with its creepy stooge, Facebook Messenger.

“It’s not permanent,” I soothed myself. “I can still check it on the web.”

And then, the funniest thing happened. As the days turned into weeks, I found myself forgetting to check Facebook. Forgetting it existed! Oh, at first, I would log on “just for a minute” and then get pulled into it for an hour or so…and then, full days would pass. Notifications piled up.

I missed soooo many birthdays!!!

But the FACEBOOK FEELING had gone! You know that poisonous slurry of anger and loathing, anxiety and sadness? It stopped bubbling up inside me every time I scrolled through the page.

I stopped having to look away as I clicked out of the browser, clutching my chest and breathing heavy. It was just a website. A website full of babies I didn’t recognize posting angry Trump memes consisting of Minions, but still a website. I could log off, and it couldn’t hurt me anymore.

Now, I realize the way I feel about Facebook is kind of the way I feel about waiting rooms:

There’s a TV somewhere on mute playing MSNBC, flooding your eyes with news you didn’t even know you should be panicking about. There are magazines on a table full of celebrity gossip about celebrities you’ve never heard of. Nobody in the room is actually talking to each other; before you know it, you’ve been there for an hour or more and you’re angry at the time your precious life has wasted.

Maybe I’m wrong, but Facebook’s time has come and gone. Disagree? Feel free to share.

Or post your own rant on Facebook! Everybody does it. Just don’t feel too bad if I happen not to share.

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24 thoughts on “Share If You Agree, Ignore If You Agree

  1. Facebook was dead for me the day I signed up after I linked my Blog feed to my Facebook page. That auto feed is still there, and I drop by to leave a comment, or click “Like” on Facebook now and then, but only when someone leaves me a comment.

    I don’t send Facebook appy birthdays to people I’ve never met face-to-face. Heck, I don’t even send happy birthdays to people I know. What’s so happy about getting older, and older, and older? Who wants a B-Day smile when older comes with arthritis, sleep is a challenge and getting up in the morning comes with risks?

    We can’t trust anything that’s on the internet anymore, because there are too many truths based on alternative facts that don’t exist. That probably explains why Littlefingers, the Groping-Liar-in-Chief, the darkness who shall not be named, is addicted to Twitter rants and his Facebook page.

    The real world for me is the one I see around me and outside my windows without a computer screen. The real world for me is the one I see when I take a walk. The real world for me is meeting friends for lunch, and we have a great conversation over food, real food, not alternative-virtual food.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your comment really struck a chord with me! Once upon a time, I set up a Facebook page for my blog (years ago honestly) and set it up to auto-publish and I got such NEGATIVE RESPONSES from it that I deleted the page and I full-stopped promoting my personal blog on FB. Only things I write on other websites. It was The Day I Realized I Don’t Even Trust My Facebook Friends To Read My Blog, and that was a personal blow.

      As to the final part of your comment, I’m trying to get out of the house every day even if it’s just to go to the grocery store because I find I can get sucked in to the negative Internet space. I am having a hard time drawing the line between staying informed and taking care of myself. What a world, huh?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I left last year too. Facebook fuelled so much of the divisive vitriol of the Brexit campaign in the UK and probably destroyed more relationships at that point. Final straw was when they deleted the “Napalm Girl” post by the Norwegian PM for containing nudity!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooof yeah it seems like Facebook “friends” and politics have been the source of too much strife over the past year. Can’t get rid of politics, so might as well get rid of Facebook! Why suffer needlessly, eh?

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I used LinkedIn as I perceived it as a professional site for people in similar professions to network.
    What I saw happening was all those “endorsements”. People were endorsing skills they do not even know whether I have them. When you are “endorsed”, you feel obliged to return the favour. And here is the problem, It does not mean anything anymore!
    I saw a recommendation written for a person I know had been “let go” for unethical behaviour (understatement).
    So, the person got someone doing a “lovely recommendation” on their ethical behaviour at the workplace….
    Are recruiters and companies seeking for employees really falling for this? Is there any values in this joke of LinkedIn?
    When I saw that and the person’s 500+ “followers” it made me sick to my stomach and I was out!

    I have been asking people how much time they spend on FB and other social media sites and they cannot even tell and when you ask them to track it, they are appalled. A waste of time.

    No wonder the “skin hunger” (ugly name for a lack of real face-to-face contact) is growing. People get lonely and to alleviate the void….they visit FB!

    Who are your real friends anyway?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “Skin Hunger” totally sounds like a zombie movie with distinctly porny elements.

      I commend you for using LinkedIn – I only started to use it recently when I was hunting for a job and I honestly don’t even understand it. It’s constantly prompting me to “endorse” people and like you, I was like “???” and it’s always popping up and asking me to answer questions about myself that “employers would be interested to know!” and I’m like, wow. I don’t understand it, I’ve used the platform to apply for jobs and nothing came of it, so I stopped even trying.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I am out of it too! LinkedIn started for the right reasons, but soon became another form of FB. People are even using it to contact “old flames”. I had some strange requests on LinkedIn to re-new our contact…I thought, What for?. I am out of it and that is it!

        Like

    1. Haha well, Drew, unfortunately that means you’ve been really missing out on MY blog as well… 😉 Omg lol j/k yeah I still love Twitter and Instagram, but I just can’t deal with Facebook anymore. It ain’t what it used to be.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. SCREAMING with laughter, this is probably the most “meta” comment! I only log on to Facebook to do self-promotion! Is that terrible of me, or is it good that I’m setting up boundaries? 😀

      Like

  4. Great commentary. But how will parents ever know what their kids are up to if the kids don;t post to Facebook?? OTOH — I deleted the FB app too….and limited my Facebook time because it was eating my life. It grows like a mold….!!

    Like

  5. Addicted to FB. I live for Vortex. I cannot find enough time for my Word Press favorites (like Meghan). I am getting tweets from POTUS. My newphews and grandkids send me Instagrams. Now I added Snapchat–and will learn how that works. There has to be time for Netflix, Amazon, the Weather Channel–and Rachel Maddow. HELP! I am drowning in a sea of sociality!

    Like

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