Two Hearts: My Mother’s Day Love Story

Dad has amazing qualities. I am a Mommy’s girl.

***

Mom, you should know that when you ask me to do things, I listen. Because you don’t get angry and try to isolate me.

You said my lips are beautiful. I wanted the piercing there permanently. You should know I took it out because you took the time and talked to me. You were direct about it. You are pure love.

It’s easy to get mad and ignore the people who let you down. But Mom, you are so genuine, honest. You took the time to notice me today–told me I had beautiful legs . You said I should always show how athletic they are. You complimented my outfit. You told me how much you loved me.

You’ve always held my hand. I never needed Tayta as much because you were there. I only decided to change things because of YOU. Because you deserve to have good days. Great days. Your birthday should always be a great day, so I let you see me the way you find me most beautiful.

“I woke up this way!” Selfie of Shareen Mansfield.

When I was at my worst, you took all the aggression I had piled up and let me blame you. I remember screaming at you in Target and saying such hurtful things. I tear up thinking about how betrayed you felt. No one was to blame. Not really. You were young and full of life when you came to America, and you did your best in a foreign culture. It was more than good enough for me. Look at me. Maybe I’m not in a penthouse in New York. You told me you imagined me there. I do as well. I can’t go there. Not without you.

At my lowest, you were there. I was in the hospital after a bad infection. I remember my vitals going up when I was sedated. I was awake and aware and you heard me. My heart racing, I grabbed the tubes and screamed. It felt like a scream. We know it was gurgling. I said, “No!” then crashed.

When I woke up, the nurses asked me, “Why does you heart beat faster? Are you stressed? You react this way every time your mom enters the room.”

Still on the breathing machine–no need to get clinical here–you know the tube being stuck in my throat, I wrote this to the nurse: “My mom knows me, my heart reacts to her. She helped me.”

Sally Ayoub.
Sally Ayoub. “Love has no boundaries!”
Unknown Photographer. Taken Circa 1978

I didn’t feel a thing after pulling out my tubes. Because of you, Mom, I got better. You took the pain away by simply making my heart beat. The same heart that grew in your womb. You still know the soundtrack. Both sides A&B. Thank you.

More evidence of our deep connection: I met the love of my life on the day you were born. Your birthday is more than special. It is the start of the a never ending story of love, life, and happiness.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thanks to you I am living in ways I know you imagined.

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6 thoughts on “Two Hearts: My Mother’s Day Love Story

  1. Beautiful words. I wish I could say such things to my own mother. I know the words I keep locked inside will one day haunt me for having kept them. Still, my mom and I have a very strange and fractured relationship. You’ve given me so much to think about, Shareen. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

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