I Think We’re Alone Now?

First, you should know that I don’t believe in God — a God, your God, any God — and that doesn’t upset me. The knowledge that we’re all just fending for ourselves down here on this lump of mud hurtling through the nothingness is okay-alright-cool with me. Some people do believe in religion, and I marvel at this, at their unwavering faith. I can’t imagine believing in anything with that much certainty!

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Just a Phase

I’ll be completely real: I’ve gone through a lot of phases in my life.
The “pink hair” phase.
The “peanut butter on everything” phase.
The “wearing old knee socks as gloves” phase

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THE BIG THAW 

New Yorkers have a reputation for being cool.

Nay, more than cool. I say now, fellas, what’s cooler than being cool? Uh, “emotionally frigid.” Yeah, that’s just about right.

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All I Want For My Birthday Is…

Birthdays have a way of putting a spotlight on your life, drawing into focus all those questions like: what have I done? What am I doing? Am I happy? #MondayBlogs #Birthdays #Wisdom

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The Very First Time–can anything ever be as great?

But there’s also something amazing about the way she experiences everything for the first time: like, being on land! Having legs! How she preens & poses in that torn sail, because it’s her first outfit! And who can forget the moment she sees a fork in the wild for the first time? Delight!

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Grim Family Tales

The women of my family have a flair for telling stories. …where people die.   I suppose my melodramatic turn for blogging is inherited. Sit with my assembled extended family of women for any period of time and you’d think you were overhearing the plot of a complicated soap opera: we love telling SAD FUCKIN’ […]

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What Makes A New Yorker… A NEW YORKER?

What does it take to become … A NEW YORKER??? Ever since September 8, 2008 I have pondered this question. That was the day I moved into a rented room in a dilapidated house in Forest Hills, Queens. My first day as a New Yorker. 8 million people live in New York City. Or maybe […]

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My Boobs & Me: A Tragicomedy

I grew up fairly certain that one day, I would get boobs. I was so convinced of this fact that, as a child, I once strutted around the house with a couple of Mr. Potato Head toys shoved high inside my shirt; y’know, to  prepare my family for the inevitability of my boobs. ( This […]

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Love Languages? Screw It.

Youse all know about Love Languages, right? According to Wikipedia, The Five Love Languages is a book by Gary Chapman, outlining the five universal ways that people give and receive love in romantic relationships. According to Oprah Winfrey’s wardrobe stylist, The Five Love Languages will change your life. When I first heard “love languages” I was like, now you’re […]

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