*In Barenaked Ladies voice*
iiiiit’s been ONE WEEK since you “covfefe!”…
Just kidding. It’s been five days.
But still, goes to show you how fast the “Trump incompetence news cycle” is these days!
Why, I’m old enough to remember the time we spent a full ten, eleven days IN SHOCK because tapes had surfaced of Candidate Trump BRAGGING about committing sexual assault! Well, not anymore. Nowadays? Feh!
When it comes to Trump Tidbits, we have mere hours to hit it & forget it, or else we’d be caught in a swarm of incompetency; constantly buzzing around us from all sides of the media! A swarm, I say! Much like bees used to be! I’m also old enough to remember bees.
And so, I wanna talk about covfefe.
True story: I once dated a guy who later confessed that every Facebook message he ever sent me, he typed out in Microsoft Word first so that he could run spell-check. This 19-year-old kid trying to get laid was more concerned about typos when sexting me through FB Messenger than our current leader is when tweeting.
Yes, typos are accidents, and everybody makes mistakes. If this were the first time that the White House Windbag had tweeted something incoherent and inaccurate, maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal. But you know it’s not.
You know we’ve been slip ‘n’ sliding down the Slippery Slope of Normalizing Trump for quite some time now, and yet it still amazes me that we haven’t reached the chain-link fence at the bottom of the hill yet.
But you know something? I don’t want to hear you wah-wahing at me that I can’t crack jokes about a Twitter typo when this administration is committing true atrocities, such as pulling out of the Paris Agreement. Guess what? I’m 32. An adult.
I don’t even need to run my sexts through Spell-Check anymore! And I possess enough emotional depth to care about multiple things at the same time. So advanced!
So while I’m busy retweeting “Little Red Covfefe” jokes, I’m also gravely concerned that our nation is pulling out of the Paris Agreement, joining Syria.
SYRIA, YOU GUYS! If you squeeze your eyes shut and try to imagine a country in 2017 that really epitomizes #StableGovernmentGoals, I betcha the first word that definitely doesn’t spring out your eager, giddy lips is SYRIA!
But ohhhhhhhh no. Dare to post a joke about Trump’s peculiarities, and you’ll get jumped by the “THIS IS A DISTRACTION” gang. “Stop making fun of Trump’s bathrobe!” they squeal. “It’s distracting you from the real issues!”
Oh please tell me how cracking a joke about Donny Two-Scoops’ Ice Cream Power Move is somehow preventing me from also calling my Representatives? News Flash! It doesn’t.
Incredibly, I can still march in protests, donate to Planned Parenthood, work for the local Board of Elections and occasionally (yes) bang out 140 characters and a GIF about the pathetic loser in an ill-fitting suit! There’s 24 hours in a day, people!
In fact… I believe it’s my duty to mock our illegitimate commander-in-chief. I believe we are obliged to call out hypocrisy when we see it! When a candidate slanders their opponent’s “stamina” only to spend every night in the White House in a bathrobe watching television, that needs to be called out. If someone makes a point of declaring that that they “have the best words” and then tweets out “COVFEFE” for the entire world to see, that’s gotta get called out!
To sum up, if there’s one thing I really don’t need adding to my already lonnnnng list of grievances with the Trump regime, it’s ordinary citizens telling me I can’t (or shouldn’t) joke about him.
When I was in high school, we studied the works of Eugene Ionesco, and this quote associated with Ionesco which rings especially true these days:
“We laugh so as not to cry.”
When we stop joking, the Fascists win.
That wasn’t a joke! Once our spirits have been crushed, then all hope is really lost.
And hope — we have so little left. The same day that “covfefe” was trending, so was the phrase “Great Barrier Reef,” because scientists are rapidly losing hope that the stunning natural wonder can be saved from complete destruction. At the rate we’re going, my fellow Millennials who grew up teaching our elders how to sort recyclables and snip six-pack rings — our best hope is that we die before climate change renders our home planet completely inhospitable to human life.
Let us have our covfefe memes. Let us have Alec Baldwin on Saturday Night Live. If you’re outraged, put that energy where it belongs: on the leaders who have failed us and the systems that oppress us. Lay off us poor saps at the bottom who are just trying to find a way to cope with the debilitating horror that we face every day as we wait for the final shoe to drop.
Let us have our jokes. We need them to survfefe.
image: Snickers Australia