Today is My Goddamn Birthday

By Dori Owen

I received a card stating this a few years ago and found it amusing enough to adopt it as my birthday theme. I am not really prone to random profane statements on my own.

Do not even think about asking me how old I am. I would never tell you, anyway. I am young enough to be reckless and take crazy chances―but old enough to make fairly good choices when necessary.

I am quite practiced at creating my own birthday celebrations. So shortly after Christmas is not the most opportune time for people to get into a festive party mood. My family still gives me gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. Most of my friends forget this day is my birthday.

I certainly do not blame them. Enough already with the holidays this time of year! I can always picture the thought bubbles above my brothers’ heads, “Oh, gawd, it’s her birthday. We need to do something.” Actually just leaving me by myself to run amuck is a good something to me. I crave the solace of selfish days alone with no responsibilities or obligations. Although I will admit to wishing for a summer birthday when I was a kid.

But I like my birthday now. To me, it represents the start of a new year. A blank canvas effect. A chance to have some do-overs from the previous year and an opportunity to dream of lofty goals for the next year. Most years I say I am going to become a more prolific writer. There are an infinite number of stories inside me all waiting for their turn to be told. Some years I ponder a book.

Last year I painted some of my best pieces; this year I’m going to paint even more. I am also going to:

▪Be kinder to others.
▪Nurture my friendships.
▪…and have much more patience with my aging mother.

On this fine birthday I am going to sleep in, take a nap, eat my favorite foods, and buy myself a few presents that I probably cannot afford. This would be the reckless me.

Because today is my godamm birthday.

dori

Dori Owen blogs on ArizonaGirlDiary.tumblr.com, is a columnist on FeminineCollective.com, created the Facebook Page DiaryOfAnArizonaGirl, is contributor/editor for TheLithiumChronicles.org, and is a zealous tweeter as AZGirlDiary @doriowen. Her essays have been featured in books FeminineCollective’s RAW&UNFILTERED VOL I and StigmaFighters Vol II. Dori is a former LA wild child who settled into grownup life as a government project manager, and collected an MBA and a few husbands along the way. She spent her adult years in Southern California and has recently returned to where she ran away from in Arizona. Dori lives with her beloved rescued terrier Olivia Twist and has an adored grown son in Portland, Oregon.