Deadlines, run on sentences and gibberish…#Confessions of a more than occasional douchebag.

It has been hell of a year and I am still reeling from the recent devastation of not only the election but the deaths of so many we admire and love in 2016. I also happen to be too lazy to count the actual days since my last full-on rant & confession. You see, I skipped a rant in between due to the straight up depressing state of our nation . I really thought Trump would be out … C’est La Vie…he is now The President-Elect and  I am afraid to walk down Fifth Avenue in fear of being shot by the very man who will soon have the nuclear codes. I am rethinking my Louis Vuitton budget and researching bunkers.


Seriously, I am wondering if I am still in a coma right now. Could this be a drug induced nightmare? Is this Doctor Who? Am I traveling through time?  What was in that brownie?

I know that our nation is in a crisis. I know that those who are supporting Trump have very real fears. I absolutely get that Americans want answers that are not cue card answers.

Problem is, he hasn’t really said anything that would give anyone any reason to believe he can solve our problems. First of all, no one can do all the things he promised to do. The government is simply not set up that way. Even if he were to serve two terms, the things he promised legally — as well as constitutionally — would not be possible.

I say this with the hope that Americans who, like me, feel disenfranchised by the election and our Government as a whole will take action to make changes. I also hope most of us (as indicated by the popular vote results) realize that he is in fact a dumpster of rhetoric who will just waste our nation’s money and resources with nonsense.

It will cost us, but we will be okay.

Our Constitution protects us from threats like him. I believe in America. I believe in the world and humanity. That is why I will also remind folks that  we must not assume that the powers that be will instantly take action to stop tyranny and hate. We must be that driving force, or risk repeating the mistakes of our past!

I promised I would be funny on what could be one of my final comedic rants. I just can’t find much to laugh about. So here is a countdown of what I look forward to in 2017:

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Twitter! I look forward to the random tweets that Donald Trump will surely drop on us.

I look forward to being better prepared for the Apocalypse than most other people. Trump is giving me good reasons to buy active wear and get a wench and snorkel for my Jeep.

No lie here; I have a plan. The first rule of surviving is cardio, and if anyone thought I started running ten years ago for the health benefits, well…they were wrong. Trump ruined my labor experience with my youngest thanks to The Apprentice; my oldest son who was three at the time “Fired” his grandma for making chocolate milk -“WRONG“!

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She called me mid-labor in tears because a three year old boy fired her.  Trump…I knew you were trouble when you walked in.

Sure, having a perky ass is a great reason to run. Not me. I run because stamina is key. My Vo2 Max leaves me very confidant that my family will survive. As long as I know how to love I will survive…shit…it’s happening…wait for it…

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Next up, Game of Thrones. Let me go ahead and say it:  please let it be over.

I can’t wait to see how it ends! My therapist is very confused by my obsession; it’s getting awkward. So, yes…if you know me it would be obvious my real reason for stepping back from writing–not only because I suck at it and hate it–is rather so  I can focus on reading the upcoming books while also binge watching all the episodes on HBO over again.

I have watched all seasons a total of 13 times–my lucky number is 13 ( T-Swizzle and I have that in common). I have highlighted every prophecy and written a novel–LITERALLY –on my theories. I won’t tell you because I’m an asshole . Plus, it is my fantasy and you all can wait in torment like I am. I love Kit Harrington. I warn you all now:  If Jon Snow is killed off or something anything close to that happens I will be in mourning for at least a decade. I am still mourning Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy.


Yes, I have a problem. I know this. I am okay. Wine is a key strategy here. My therapist was writing a lot last week. Hmm…maybe she’ll give me Valium? One can hope. How will I survive?  Like I always do. Taylor Swift will come out with an album that will distract me long enough so as not to appear to be a crazed woman. Appearances are everything.

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So random…I still can’t believe that my husband has not figured out that I make a playlist and bluetooth play it in the Jeep when we are in an argument. You see, I once confessed that I too, am an occasional douchebag . One major asshole moment is that after thirteen years you would think he would have caught onto my tactics . You’d think he would notice that I make a very specific play list and suggest we go for a drive whenever we have “adult”things to talk about. I then air play songs, quote the songs WHILE  they are playing and he does not have a damn clue or notice. Example: Lady Gaga’s song Million Reasons. He says “blah blah blah”, I say verbatim :

“I try to make the worse seem better. Lord, show me the way
To cut through all his worn out leather
I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay…”

WTF? I’m not even wearing leather. Second, I don’t even sound like that when I talk, like ever. I have never once called him baby.

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So what the fuck? Anyway, I am looking forward to repairing marital conflicts with music lyrics. It is so hard to not laugh during these moments, which is why I think our marriage has lasted this long.  I am pretty awesome though–I have a great wardrobe. So it’s clear music is one of the many things I look forward to in 2017.  I am already loving Bruno Mars–he is in fact 24 k Magic– Head to toe so player… got to blame Jesus, #Blessed. Yes, I quoted the lyrics, again.

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So let’s move on. I am turning over a new leaf in many ways. I am no longer writing or coming from a place of hurt or pain. I am coming from a place of healing. My inner dragon still burns hot so when the time comes this may mean I will return to the page to address those that will have to make a choice–duck or burn. I just don’t have that fire in me right now. No one needs to duck.

OTV has evolved thanks to the support of so many readers and writers. I look forward to expanding our team as the year passes. OTV will always remain a safe place.

In saying that, I will remind readers that OTV has never been afraid to deal with the issues head on. I left journalism choosing to launch and fund this publication in order to bring in the rich diversity  of the world around me. You will undoubtedly feel something when you read what we publish. Our mission is to be a platform that both readers and writers can turn to and trust. We won’t always get it right. We will always try.

Thanks for a great year. Remember–I am a nightmare dressed like a daydream–I stole that from Taylor Swift.  Poor Kara, everyone pray for Kara. Deadlines, run on sentences and gibberish await her in the coming year.

This mess of a letter from Publisher is not her fault. I can’t be tamed–said Miley Cyrus. Am I teenage dream? Shit. I might be. If only I was not feeling 22 but actually 22. Oops! I did it again. If you don’t know who said that shit, good for you.

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You’ll note I may have used lyrics throughout this. I better check myself before I wreck myself …Ice Cube.

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