If we were having coffee, I’d tell you it’s been a hot minute since I last wrote. To be truthful, writing isn’t something that I can do on a schedule or with a prompt. I want to always be completely honest when I write without sharing every aspect of my life. Regardless, my partner and co-creator set out this #LinkYourLife 30 day challenge so what kind of host would I be if I didn’t try this? So here goes.
I have been struggling the last few months to keep it together with my health while dealing with my anxiety, not to mention the growing pains of my children. Things got really ugly for awhile there. The jury is still out on whether I am past that roller coaster of hell, yet I remain positive.
The thing is, I have a pretty serious health condition. Soon I will be taking care of the majority of the issue and begin the recovery process. Issue is, I am not sure what I am afraid of. I don’t think it matters. I have to be that Bull. I have to destroy that china cabinet.
I’ve had to take a personal inventory of what I know makes me happy: my husband, my children, creating a place for people to share their stories, safely even chat over coffee right here on OTV, the words you share share are bits of me. Everything here Open Thought Vortex moves me, makes me think, or I relate to it.
While I’ll never fully disclose every aspect of my life. I’ll never tell my entire story because that story is ever-changing, I am not done. There is so much more of me to share. But OTV is not about me. That’s why you’ll find me publishing my deeper writing on several other sites this year. I need to make sure that this remains a place for others to come together. I had a writing career. I already accomplished what I set out to do years ago. Now it is time for me be the student.
Every week I have a wonderful opportunity to read amazing work that 10 years ago would not have been possible. What you write has a direct impact on me, which is why I take the time to read you each week. I share, like and comment not just on what I publish, but the other work you’ve put out in the world. Let me tell you-wow-what an incredible impact you’ve made! Please keep sharing, engaging, keep reading and coming back for the odd coffee date–that is my plan.
You’ve all contributed so much to my life. I lost hope. I lost faith in myself. When the magazine launched despite its success (Thanks to all of you & the great submissions ). I found my voice. I found my faith & found myself again. I started to once again believe in my mission to create a safe place for healthy dialogue and started looking forward to each of you joining me on Twitter for #LinkYourLife @ShareenM along with @shawnamawna .
I’m struggling right now. It’s hard to see myself as anything less than a failure . It’s treacherous knowing I have the power inside me to defeat the worst battle I have yet to face. Guess what. I found my dragon fire. I found my pack. I found my faith . I am not hopeless. I’m growing stronger each day knowing that I will never be alone . I have faith in you. The readers of Open Thought Vortex have pulled me from the fire. Thank you. You’ve restored the faith I lost in myself.
P.S #LinkYourLife has a new Twitter handle which you can now tag along with hashtag. It will make it easier for our added team members to help us ensure you are connected amongst our vast & amazing group members , writers and plain old amazing people @FridayLYL.
I feel more connected with my faith & hope than ever before. You’ve all given me a gift. I can now see that my faith in you has paid tenfold.