There’s been a lot of talk lately about finding that perfect man. That one person who will make all of your dreams come true. They will be devastatingly handsome, wealthy and of course, know just how you’re feeling without even having to ask you. All your dreams will come true when you find your Prince charming, aka your soulmate, your other-half, the one that completes you.
That’s the story we’ve been told since we were little children, lapping up the lies from all the fairy tales and Disney movies. That magically our prince would come and whisk us away to his castle where we would live happy-ever-after. Did you ever notice they never showed what happened after the prince married the princess? You think that’s a coincidence? Of course not, because happy-ever-after is a lot of freaking work.
In reality, once you tie the knot it’s just the two of you navigating life, through the good and the bad. There are no magical birds that help you clean up if you just “whistle while you work.” Nope, that’s all you baby. The cleaning, the clothes…the kids, plus your full time job. Do you really think prince charming is going to tend to the screaming babies in the middle of the night? Not likely, if you just married a man for a happy-ever-after.
Real relationships – not the fairy-tale kind — require work and lots of it. They are a commitment from both people to love, honor and cherish one another. You’ll need more than just a prince charming, you need a friend, a lover, a confidant and if you can throw in an amateur chef – then more power to you!
Let’s face it, you’re going to need someone that will hypothetically help you hide the body. Someone that has your back, and that you trust explicitly. Someone you know deep down in your soul would never hurt you, both physically and emotionally. You need a real partner, somebody that’s in it as deep as you are. Committed! Not like institutionalized, but committed to both you and your relationship, evenly.
Evenly is the key word there. Relationships – good ones that is, are a partnership. Each pouring their time and emotions into one another. Working together to be the shelf that their relationship stands upon. If one person is pouring more support and love into their side, it’s going to get out of balance and fall off the wall. It only works as a true foundation, when both parties are equally supporting each side. Working together that shelf of love can support anything that comes their way.
So how do you find this guy, person…perfect being. Well, I will tell you right off if you’re looking for perfect then you will never find him. There is no such thing as the perfect man or woman. We are just people, quirks and all, traveling through our lives trying to enjoy the good times, and make it through the bad. Perfection has nothing to do with it. You need to love their quirks and appreciate their flaws. If you can’t do that, then move on because no one is going to change. A tiger is not going to change its spots, no matter how hard you try.
You need to love the person you’re with wholly, every flaw…every quirk or not at all.
Remember, you are in this for the long run. You wouldn’t go lightly into a job that you had to commit to for your entire lifetime. Why would you do that with a mate? This is your life, your happiness. Never ever settle, you’re too good for that. Your other half is out there looking for you and each relationship you go through takes you one step closer to them. So if you’re in a bad relationship, get out of it. You are just wasting your time when you could be finding your Mr. Right.
You really can have everything your heart desires, trust me I know. After kissing many a frogs, I found my other-half and we’re on the cusp of celebrating our 20th anniversary. We aren’t perfect that’s for sure, but we are perfect for each other. As a matter of fact, I married a man that was the complete opposite of every other guy I dated. I thought I had a type, turns out I had it all wrong. I’m glad I didn’t settle, and instead held out until I found the man that embraces me – quirks and all.
So go out there and find your other-half. Don’t look for a fairy tale, look for real love; flawed and imperfect just like all of us. You are meant to have it all, so never settle for less. You deserve it for you!