Don’t Hit On Me Or My Friends

Since I started writing , I’ve been receiving a lot more attention on social media from women. Unfortunately, much of this attention has been in the form of hitting on me. I thought it was just me, but after speaking with many of my writer friends, this appears to be quite a common occurrence for us men. It’s as if you ladies think we share our writing for the sole purpose of attracting your sexual attention.

Don’t get me wrong. I do appreciate your attention. (Not so much when it comes with genital pictures, though. More on that later.) However, I’m sorry to break the news to you, but…

I have a girlfriend. We’re quite serious even though we have yet to make it Facebook official. It’s just that we choose to keep our relationship off the internet. My apologies for not making it blatantly obvious that I’m taken, but many of my male friends tell me that hardly ever works anyway. You women are so certain that we all want to have sex with you that you will keep trying even when we are clearly happily involved with someone else.

Now let’s assume for a moment that I didn’t have a girlfriend. (This is purely hypothetical. I do have a girlfriend who is starting to get grumpy and talking about fighting the next chick to hit on me. This should scare you.) If I were available and potentially interested in meeting a new romantic partner, you have adopted a horrible strategy. I’m beyond tired of people valuing me purely for my looks and thinking of me as little more than a sex toy. Try engaging my mind. Talk to me about things that interest me. It shouldn’t be so hard to figure that out. You could start by reading some of my writing, either on my blog or any of the sites where I’ve appeared. (I can refer you to many fine sites that have been so gracious and that feature quite a bit of wonderful writing from others who are similarly not interested in being hit on by you.)

While on the subject of my writing, thank you for repeatedly telling me how hot I am. However, that does nothing for my writer’s ego or help me improve my craft. If you would like to help me, I am open to feedback, constructive criticism, and civil debate. I appreciate your efforts in this endeavor. Should we disagree, however, threatening to rape me or otherwise wish such a fate for me only leads me to tuning you out. Also, this will definitely kill your chances for hooking up with me. (You didn’t have any chance anyway, but still you are not helping yourself.)

Back to those genital pictures. What are you thinking with that? They usually come in with no warning and certainly never by request. I would think that you would wait for some indication they might be wanted like, I don’t know, perhaps a discussion of the possibility that we may some day have sex. I know we haven’t had such a conversation because, again, I have a girlfriend, and we are quite serious. I am not available for sex, and I know I have not made any mention of wanting to have sex with anyone who happens to find me on the internet. Also, in case I haven’t made this clear, I do not seek sexual partners through social media, and more importantly, I am not interested in anyone who wants to have sex with me based on the pictures they’ve seen online.

I will throw you a bone. (This is not a euphemism for a picture of my genitalia. Can you imagine a man doing such a thing?) If you are polite, I will consider introducing you to my friends. They are intelligent and interesting. If you like my writing, you will love theirs. Unfortunately, I don’t know a single one of them who is looking for a new romantic partner. Even if they are, don’t hit on them. That is what dating sites are for. Go to one of those.

In conclusion, thank you for reading me. I hope this will be the beginning of an engaging discussion. It will not be the beginning of any kind of romantic relationship. If you feel the need to send a picture of your genitals, make it to someone who has asked for such a picture. We bloggers (particularly those of us who are male and/or male-identified) are simply trying to write and contribute to civil discourse. We are not looking for dates or hook-ups. Please treat us respectfully and not as objects. After all, you wouldn’t treat a woman that way, would you?