What I Learned When I Wrote “Rip Out Your Vocal Cords: An Open Letter”

When I wrote Rip Out Your Vocal Cords: An Open Letter, something strange happened. I can’t put it into words. Here, my aim is to clarify the intent of the letter. When I write I am in the trenches, deep into my emotions. More often than not I am a peacemaker. I often sacrifice myself to achieve what I believe is the greater good. Through my writing I have found a way to express my angst as well as my many voices, and ideas.

On The Verge isn’t about me. It’s about that moment. You know the one, you are on the verge many times in life. On The Verge isn’t good or bad. It’s everything while being nothing at the same time. Life isn’t black and white. For me, this platform is either a personal essay or social comment. My intent is never go judge or be a hater. However, I am authentic 100% of the time when writing.
When my body of work is read, I hope it is clear that I leave room for evolution, growth, change and endurance…survival. Life gets ugly. When it does my writing may feel ugly. The truth often is filthy, vile. A pill not many can swallow. In my writing you will find no classic archetypes. I believe everyone will play various roles in my story as well as their own. In fact, I play roles in my written stories; I don’t ever want to hurt anyone or for people to think that my rant voice is my actual voice. It is a character. I’m injecting my experience because I feel it’s a universal message. You will find me in my writing. Varying shades, characteristics and truth. My rants–yes, they are a part of me, but my real Boss voice is nothing like that. Even when I do hand someone their ass it is a conversation. Really, an education. I let them say what they have to say, then I ask the questions letting them answer their own contradictions.


No one ever says what they are feeling. Often it is between the lines. So I say or ask what I think they are afraid to ask. Now, customer service-wise (a past life of mine), I am also polite. I am just armed with information at all times. It is hard to argue with me because I hate arguing so I don’t unless I can end it quickly. I also don’t ever argue with someone about faith. My dad taught me that if you are polite and listen, the person causing the loudest scuff stops because they did not get you worked up.

My superpower is not getting annoyed when everyone else does. I give advice I would take, want and believe, always with the idea that I don’t write someone off. Even after the fallout from my open letters and rants. Just because we aren’t friends doesn’t mean I will make an enemy out of you. I don’t need to be the one to push you off the end . Who knows who could get hurt? I will just keep my mouth shut. It is how I am. Which is why it hurts me that some readers think I am I bad mouthing them to the world.

Consider this when reading my work: I may be drawing from life events past or present. I may be dreaming of the future trying to get a happy ending or warning myself and others of the pitfalls ahead. I could be drawing from world events or my favorite media, there is a lot to consume.

I will give you this one truth about me: I would rather write a rave than a rant. If I wrote a rant, it’s because I wanted to set  change in motion. When and if the change occurs, my rave will be all the more satisfying. I don’t want to filet anyone. I want things to get better. Sometimes the only way to be heard is to categorically describe the problem. That gets ugly. But when I rave it’s beautiful, because that truth is also universally enchanting.


17 thoughts on “What I Learned When I Wrote “Rip Out Your Vocal Cords: An Open Letter”

    1. Thank you. It was a universal literal open letter not about any one specific person or things. Shawna having seen the origin & context has a great deal of integrity in supporting me when I wrote it. Shawna deserves lots of praise here. Only two people took it as if it directed at them. It wasn’t. It was part of my story. Pieces of my life. Many times reminding myself why I chose sobriety so long ago. Commenting on the things I saw happening in society. ..within my community. I was tormented. Felt so guilty . Shawna discouraged me from taking it down . Why? She knew the context as well as my intent. I wrote this months ago. Shawna said to me there will be a right time to share this. Let’s wait. Everyone needs a Shawna & Aaminah. You both gave me so much support. Wonderful advice. What touched me the most was your support . You took the time to make sure I was ok. You knew what was happening between the lines. Thank you for your ever present support!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There will always be people who take things as an attack against themselves when it has nothing to do with them. That is their own guilty conscience trying to clue them in! But it should never silence you. That is their problem, not yours. You and Shawna are my lifeline too. I am so humbled that you both have my back.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I honestly did not receive “Rip Out Your Vocal Cords: An Open Letter” as a rant. To me it was a cascading waterfall and yes some of the water may have gone into places I’d have preferred it hadn’t, but if we’re never made uncomfortable than what’s the point of anything? One of the reasons I was so drawn into the piece is because I never felt you were yelling or telling this person or persons what they were doing wrong, but instead were simply drawing a map – not even a map with boundaries – but more a map with incredibly challenging topography both breathtaking and yes at times heartbreaking. Your expertise in how you wield your scalpel/pen/word processor helps me to channel my own #MotherDicks and for that I’ll forever be grateful to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love the way you write and thoroughly enjoyed both posts. I appreciate your honesty and admire the courage it takes to say and ask what everyone else is afraid to. When I read your posts I sense that you’re opening the doors and encouraging discussion, not coming from a place of judgement. Thanks for sharing this!


    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is exactly what I am trying to do. I want to have a conversation. I want to understand . I want to be understood. In order for any of that to happen we just first be open to receive the message. Thank you!


  3. This is really interesting. & I agree, though I don’t always achieve it, that if you can avoid getting worked up and don’t engage the argument people will often pipe down. Some don’t. Though I tend to take the view that those people who will not stop, even when everything has been dropped & no one is engaging them any more, are the people who it is really best (for them & you) not to react to.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Everybody has at least one negative ninny like the type you describe in his/her life. It must be especially frustrating for you, because you are one of the most amazing people who has ever walked the earth — at least I think you are — and as a result, that many more people want to be “besties” with you and turn to you for advice on how to get “out” of the ludicrous situation du jour they have managed to themselves into.

    In my life, I have encountered a lot of dramatic people whose lives are chock full of unnecessary trouble because they have way too many externalities they need to jettison. They won’ let go because they don’t have a pragmatic bone in their body. Quite frankly, I can’t even help them out because they get themselves into situations I can’t even comprehend because I try to avoid situations like that in the first place by adulting.

    I’ve had my own share of ridiculous drama myself, particularly over a 6 year period between 2004 and 2010. If you’re ever in the mood for some good old fashioned “irritainment”, I’ve got stories for you. Otherwise, I promise I’ll never bog you down with my own silly drama. 🙂

    I do find the best way to deal with these people in conversations besides, I suppose, curtly excusing yourself and walking away, is to respond with something that has nothing to do with what they’re talking about and don’t deviate from it.

    Crazy Person(“CP” for short): “GAWHD DAMMIT! YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS! …….

    Me: “Hmm.. Well, you should have SEEN the size of this rotisserie chicken I brought home from Costco yesterday..”


    Me: I shit you not! It was the size of a Canada Goose! You’d have had to see it to believe it!
    You get the idea. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are spot on. Narcism is at play. I hope I spelled that right. Brian you can talk yo me about whatever. I hope you know that. I have found that the truth comes out eventually. All I can do is be myself. I will never write someone off. I will remove myself from that situation . Usually, it’s far past my breaking point. I ignore the negative in order to focus on the good. That is a blind spot I have yet to find a work around for. The danger ends up much closer than I expect. I love your serves of humor & kindness. It’s ever present in everything you do.


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