Katniss

She reminds me of Katniss, though it is unlikely she has any chance of knowing who that is.

We met a few months ago on a foggy morning when the ridiculous seemed too much and I, for a moment, thought my words might have some resonance. Divinely led can meet at the same moment of time yet not recognize itself in another. She was brought to me in an attempt to persuade me, to calm my confused and frustrated tears, a people directly contradicting themselves in Jesus’ name.

*

rosary You looked at my eyes and in an instant I felt you, they encouraged you to speak because they somehow couldn’t hear the deafening conversations of our souls. In turmoil you twisted, and your eyes deceived the words that started to pour out like water, memorized lines since birth whispered into your spirit as the programming takes place. The programming and manipulation of any soul that grows up. Whisperings of who you are that contradict who you are until your true voice is quieted squelched out with another Hail Mary. Our conversation was one deeper, wordless, the voice of Love.

Since then you are never far from my mind. I hold you in my imagination–a mighty girl in a world that is yours. I imagine you learning new things as your mind is obviously brilliant. I have still been watching you. Holding my bursting tongue as I drive by the weekly show of sinners sinning in order to control sin. The masses enfolding the holy garments as He removes himself from the mini van ready to add the powerful judge to the prayers. I see them gathered their signs filling minds with images of bloodied tissue. I noticed when you started to stand apart, moving to the furthest edge of what is acceptable standing on the edge of the box that both mentally and physically restrains you. I see that your hands are now free of the winding beads that once determined your cantor. Most importantly though, I see you watching for me and the sweet smile from lowered eyes making sure they don’t notice.

No worries, Katniss. Your secret is safe in my heart. How I wish I could silently sweep you up unnoticed on the way by. I would hasten you away to a place where it is safe to have your own thoughts, to play if you still remember how.

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I am the I AM, I am the dark and the Light, I am twisting shadows and bright sunrises. I have strong emotions that fade as fast as I type. I am hurt, I am beauty, I am the driscriminated and the discriminator. I am everything, I am.

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