This Has Got to Stop: A response to sexist website Return of Kings

I have experienced things recently which say to me that sexism and anti-women cultural elements are subtle, insidious and designed, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to wear us down, make us decide we have it “pretty good,” so why fight the tiny injustices?

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On Thursday, I spoke up about a sexist meme on a charity tournament website. I saw a second offensive meme on the site and spoke up about that as well. Within minutes my image was used without my permission, although not in a negative fashion. However, I think the use of my image in that instance was designed to mess with my head.

I started a private website (which will remain private) Friday in response to that, but also in response to some thoughts I had been having about the need for such a forum. It is designed to give women a safe space to discuss all women’s issues and seek support without fear of recrimination. My hope is the site will spark a movement of openness, support and concern for women’s issues at a very grassroots level. I hope by speaking out, and others speaking out, we create a snowball effect of courage.

On my site, I posted about the Return of Kings website because I had run across it previously. I only learned about this website because an ex-boyfriend of mine that I was friends with on Facebook posted a very sexist meme from the website. When I pointed out how sexist it was, he told me to “stay in my own lane” (lol). To my credit, I would like to point out that this was a high school boyfriend, not someone I dated as an adult.

I posted in the Feminist Majority Facebook page that sexism was not dead. It was in response to this statement that sexism reared its head again. The response I received was a bullying meme of myself. The original of the image you see below was altered to read: “If I’m not holding a cock or making a sandwich, my owner lets me play with Frisbees.”

The author takes back her image after it was coopted and turned into a misogynist meme reading "If I'm not holding a cock or making a sandwich, my owner lets me play with Frisbees."
The author takes back her image after it was coopted and turned into a misogynist meme.

Sexism is alive. I hate to send traffic to this horrific website because I suspect that all they really want are hits, but if any of you are interested, Return of Kings is one of the worst examples of misogyny and sexism on the internet. They post articles about women and the need for traditional gender roles, are anti-gay, anti-woman, classist and represent just about everything that is wrong with our culture.

Here is the entire excerpt of their “about” statement:

“Return Of Kings is a blog for heterosexual, masculine men. It’s meant for a small but vocal collection of men in America today who believe men should be masculine and women should be feminine.

ROK aims to usher the return of the masculine man in a world where masculinity is being increasingly punished and shamed in favor of creating an androgynous and politically-correct society that allows women to assert superiority and control over men. Sadly, yesterday’s masculinity is today’s misogyny. The site intends to be a safe space on the web for those men who don’t agree with the direction that Western culture is headed. If you are new, check out our top 35 posts of all time.

We are generally against men’s rights and how they portray men as victims in need of state assistance (see: The Men’s Rights Movement Is No Place For Men). Women and homosexuals are strongly discouraged from commenting here.

ROK Community Beliefs:
The ideas and beliefs here are based on neomasculinity. Here are a few of its principal tenets:

1. Men and women are genetically different, both physically and mentally. Sex roles evolved in all mammals. Humans are not exempt.

2. Men will opt out of monogamy and reproduction if there are no incentives to engage in them.

3. Past traditions and rituals that evolved alongside humanity served a net benefit to the family unit.

4. Testosterone is the biological cause for masculinity. Environmental changes that reduce the hormone’s concentration in men will cause them to be weaker and more feminine.

5. A woman’s value significantly depends on her fertility and beauty. A man’s value significantly depends on his resources, intellect, and character.

6. Elimination of traditional sex roles and the promotion of unlimited mating choice in women unleashes their promiscuity and other negative behaviors that block family formation.

7. Socialism, feminism, cultural Marxism, and social justice warriorism aim to destroy the family unit, decrease the fertility rate, and impoverish the state through large welfare entitlements.

Read “What Is Neomasculinity?” for more detail.

ROK is published by Roosh Valizadeh and edited by Winston Smith.”

Honestly, I don’t think I’m special. I’m a loudmouth for a cause. I will always stand up for what I think is right, no matter what. Sexism is an insidious force in our culture. Because things are “better,” a lot of women feel they just need to sit back and “take it.” Sometimes I feel beaten down, but I lick my wounds and get back up. #yesallwomen

Crispian Paul is a social worker, survivor and equal rights activist.